Elementary Puns from the Net

1. I hit my neon the table.
2. Elsa just washed the fluorine the kitchen.
3. It was a long trek, but the hikers boron.
4. I bought twelve cookies, but I ate hafnium. Then I ate the other six; now they argon.
5. I can't wait until he's dead so we can barium in the krypton the hill.
6. Tellurium going to the store.
7. The church towers aren't any good since there's nobelium.
8. I like watching plays, but mostly I like to actinium.
9. I've never heard of a weavers' rooms without aluminum.
10. I'll steal the horses as soon as I can think of a way to get the mendelevium unguarded.
11. Bring the pictures over here and let calcium. 12) We had a roach problem, but called the exterminator to get iridium.
12. I didn't have time to read all the books; I just scandium.
13. He wanted to buy my CDs, but I already sodium.
14. The police caught the robbers after their radon the bank.
15. Many people want to be cowboys. They want terbium so they can learn how to herd cattle and how europium.
16. It's stopped raining, so you can get radium brella.
17. Be careful, if your pianos need repairs, that you don't let someone who's in neptunium.
18. The rope gave way just as they were chlorine the drawbridge. (?)
19. Slow down! You're going to phosphorus!
20. The kidnapper tried to leave the country, but the the FBI went to the airport to cesium.
21. Only a few of the plants survived, but manganese ever grow!
22. Come down to Dr. Smith's biotech lab and see the oxygen-erated.
23. The hubcaps are missing, the seats are ripped and the doors are dented...where's the carbon?
24. It's necessary to galvanize the ship so it won't rust through and zinc.
25. Sulfur, so good.
26. The last batch of cookies you made was great...can I have samarium?
27. I'll never bicycle one hundred miles again, considering how thorium.
28. It's not mature to throw a temper tantalum. _{With apologies..... Steve Hardinger, Cal State U. Fullerton}